More Toilet Humor

Since Trash just got done complaining about our office building "turd burglar", I thought it would be suiting to talk about the other stupid women that work here that we have to share the facilities with.

One lady in the office next door must take her breaks in the restroom. She will start out by dousing her already crispy hair with hairspray, then she will wash her hands for 5 minutes, then she will spray her hair again.

There's another lady that will just sit on the toilet if anyone comes in while she is doing her business. I really want to yell at her sometimes because toilets aren't for sitting, they are for waste disposal! If you aren't releasing waste, get the hell out! And really, we're all adults and know that, as my husband says, EVERYBODY POOPS! Paris Hilton, Brad Pitt and Lady Gaga all do it. So get busy poopin' or go back to work!

Then there's this other broad that always comments on my cropped pants or capris and in the summer I wear a lot of them. I want to tell her that she doesn't need to make bathroom conversation with me, especially when it's always about my pants!

So, back to the #2 embarrassment. We have to walk down the hall and past another office to get to our shared bathroom. I was on my way for the 400th time that day. I walk past the other office's door and a lady walks out. She sees me go into the bathroom and turns around and goes back in. I was in there for about 1 minute, come out and she is waiting to go in! Are you serious, lady?

Back to the turd burglar. This lady will sit in the stall and make horrible noises while doing her thing. Seriously, if it's that difficult...take a laxative! All you can see of her are her giant, fat feet bulging out of her Birkenstocks. She should be the only one embarrassed about what she does in the bathroom.

I think we need to buy some room spray...